Sitting 30,000 feet over the Rocky Mountains, I begin to think about you and the extraordinary circumstances that brought us together. And I am totally amazed. It may never be possible to put it all down on paper, and perhaps the events are less important than the final result - the plot turns less interesting than the inward reflections that constantly intervened to create new awarenesses - thus new reasons to be together.
In the end, as at the beginning, it was always possible to see many more reasons NOT to be together, than reasons to share our lives. And while there were always doubts along the way about myriad of things, there was always one overriding reality - one absolute surety - we loved each other from the centers of our souls. It was this, always this, that drove us forward, step-by-step, difficulty-by-difficulty, embrace-by-embrace.
There was also one ever-present fact that faced us, and which everyone else clearly saw. You are 20 years younger than I. That fact raised a lot of eyebrows, including our own. I mention it here because at some point it will be ultimately relevant.
Short of accident or disease (for either of us) I will pass many years before you do into the cosmos that spawned both our existences. Whether or not we will return into that central bosom of creation and embrace once again remains a mystery.
So it is, with strong premeditation, that I take pen in hand and begin a long good-bye. A farewell that flows so beautifully, so easily from my ever-loving soul. If we never touch again after this life has passed us both by, this letter, this long chain of soulmate letters, will be the chronicle of our love, our tribulations, our merging hearts.
So, to you, my Soulmate, this is my message to accompany you in the years after I am gone. These letters are placed into your hands that you may remember my love as it flowed out of my heart, as it flowed out of my pen, as I lived it - as I loved you in every minute of our existence together on this planet.
Then, one day, perhaps you will not need this any more - not need the memory of me - as you move into another relationship, another love, another life.
Until then read these soulmate letters with the knowledge that your love has brought me more joy than life itself.
That you have loved me, that you still do, is the central miracle of my life. That transcendent spark of ever-present energy flows out in waves from the center of your heart, touching all I am, all I do, releasing a beautiful energy, infusing my present with the accepting power of your love.
The gratitude that arises in me because of it is inexpressible... Thank you for loving me so well, so strongly, so deeply, that I float within it in every moment.
