Love Letters
Sadness, Sandstone Cliffs, and Sandstorms
 There was a sadness as I left on the plane early this morning. It was a dull sense that you would be alone for several days. Of course this would not mean you would be without me, because I am ever connected to the vibrating life-force that is you. But it did mean we would be physically apart. Not together.
I also felt this sadness flowing carefully out of you, and I was struck by a sense of guilt... that I was leaving to do some "important" work, but you would be left home to do "your" work, and it felt so unequal for us to refer to our activities that way. Unequal and untrue. Besides, the truly important work is for us to be together, to stay connected, no matter how far apart we are.
Looking down at the snow covered mountains, the bright white slivers of roads snaking into canyons, there is this visceral, unconscious reaction. It is a strong sense of being connected to the land, the mountains and deserts, of being OF them, WITH them, of feeling that this is the essence from which I sprang.
Upon noticing this, I am immediately aware that this is nearly identical to the feelings I have when I feel you crawling around inside of me. The difference is that I have to be IN the mountains, ABOVE the deserts to feel them fully. But with you, the feeling is always present – always... All I need to do is find a place of peace inside of me, and there you are. For that, I thank you.
The pink-red-yellow pinnacles of Bryce Canyon, the sandstone cliffs surrounding the delicate cathedrals, are slipping by underneath. I remember the wonderful day we spent hiking among them – warning the Aussie couple to "beware the wild manzanitas"– the joyful warmth of the Fall sun – and the loving of you each moment along the path that led to a resurgence of passion for life in me.
We have shared so many "small" joys that they add to fill my life with a continuous tide of fulfillment... of bliss. It is this you have brought me to, this total immersion with the expansive joy of being truly alive... forever encompassed by your joyous love.
A pink sandstorm is blowing ahead, huge clouds of dust reaching to astounding heights. The sharply dropping cliffs of the Grand Canyon are just ahead. We need to go there soon, you and I. We need to explore the wonders of this ancient canyon, to jump into the depths of its unknown wilderness. And to do it while we still can, while our bodies our fit enough for the journeys.
We need to touch our minds and fill our souls with the scent of trees, canyons, lakes, mountains, sandy deserts, windy beaches. There are places that remember time, on this earth, places that draw you in with a powerful presence and don't let go. So, we will go there, you and I, to be encompassed by these timeless places, sharing them – together.
Together. That is the word we need to conquer our separations. "Together" is the word we need to displace the sadness of too-frequent partings. "Together" is how I carry you in here, wrapped warmly around my core, so we are never truly apart. We are together, wherever we are. Remembering that, feeling it, the sadness, the aloneness of this early morning, has become peace.
Zander C
Copyright 2007-2009, Zander C. All rights reserved.
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